New Heart-Journey

Dear New Heart-Journey,

I thought about you today. I thought about what you said when I was driving home..... I had a dream last night... and it symbolized an obstacle in my grandmother's life right now... when I came out of the dream, I told myself I was going to see her... as i was getting ready... I listened to the song 'Landslide' by Fleetwood Mac. I never fully understood the song until now... when I saw my grandmother, she was unable to speak... but I took the time to really listen, sometimes words are so unnecessary .... and I heard her... As I was leaving, I told my aunt how proud and inspired I was by the way she was taking care of my grandmother, she cried as I hugged her... driving home I thought of that song again, Landslide.. I took the word landslide as a metaphor for love... I thought over that song and I thought of what you said, to really listen to what they're saying... anyway just thought I would share...

Teen Dream

Dear Teen Dream:

I took a walk with this new friend of mine tonight, and I told her about our story... about how I met you at 15, and how I thought I loved you... and how you took the journey to see me.. the time i sat across from you at canter's, and it was then that I knew I loved you... I told her about how we held each other before you left, and how you never turned to say goodbye.. when I was finished telling the story and I looked up, I noticed the tears... hers... not mine... who would have thought that our story would be so sad...

magical realism.

Retrospective

Wow... Its been so long since I've actually written a real post, aside from posting up music which by the way I will try and continue to do...I'm suppose to be reading up on Piaget and Vygotsky, but here I am... I looked back on some of my post, interesting, the journey, and the music, it was so telling.  A song can often say it best.  I don't think I'm going to make this post a long one, but I do want to remain in the habit of writing and recording my journey, you learn so much retrospectively, although I'm all about learning in the moment as well, whatever that means.  

For some reason, lately, I can't stop listening to music, and reading over lyrics, morning and night.. Its like I wake up and I need to hear a song, I go to sleep, and yes I need a song..... Its so funny how the heart works, perhaps that's why I need the music because my heart is taking on a new journey, letting go of 'what was', and being open to the possibility of what is happening, and who knows... going from the heart of girl, who loved like a girl and held on to the girlhood dreams of love... to the heart of a woman, sounds like a song, and yes: loving like a woman and taking on that experience of an evolved and mature love-journey... yeah, that's what its about for me, and I'm excited..  I'm trying to have an uncaged thought process right now, just allowing whatever comes to mind, to be written and shared.. I'm such a nerd, seriously 'uncaged thought process' come on... ha!

 

I still practice Buddhism.  I have to admit though, I could be a bit more diligent with my practice. I notice a difference when I'm consistent and when I'm not, I notice a difference in my clarity, and in my confidence, as well as in my instinct, my access to ideas, and with regard to ideas, I mean I'm more inspired, and I'm able to navigate better... I'll get it together, meditate and chant for an hour tomorrow... although I notice, when I'm at the Buddhist center and I'm chanting with others (usually in a room filled with folks) I want to chant in harmony... I wonder, if I sound like I'm trying to bebop or something, like when someone chants a low note, I chant a high note, and harmonize.... who cares, seriously, I actually enjoy it, and its fun... 

By the way, I was thinking of changing the name of this blog...but realized...[ I just deleted the reason why because it was just so cheese, nacho, swiss, blahhhh]!...